COULD YOU ADD VALUE TO KITH AND KIN?
Every extended family has one. The relative who calls when things get tight, then calls again a few months later, and again after that. Not because they are lazy or undeserving, but because nobody ever showed them a different way forward. They were disadvantaged from the start, maybe by circumstance, maybe by missed opportunity, and the pattern that formed early in life just keeps repeating. The richer members of the family become the safety net, year after year, gift after gift, with nothing fundamentally changing.
This is one of the quieter financial burdens carried by successful people across Nigeria and the diaspora. Not dramatic, not talked about much outside the family group chat, but real and ongoing. The question worth asking is whether continuing to send cash is actually helping, or just keeping the cycle exactly where it is.
The Problem with Just Giving Money
There is nothing wrong with generosity. Helping family is, for most people, simply what you do. But there is a meaningful difference between money that covers an emergency and money that becomes the expected, recurring answer to a problem that never gets addressed directly.
When the same family member keeps needing support, the honest question is not whether to help. It is whether the help being given is actually solving anything. A cash gift covers this month. It does not change what happens next month, or the month after that, or in ten years when the same dynamic is still playing out, just with higher stakes.
What if the money currently going toward periodic gifts was redirected, even partially, toward something that builds capacity instead of just covering the gap?
The Idea: A Coach Funded by the Family, For the Family
The concept is simple to state and genuinely useful in practice. Instead of, or alongside, financial gifts, family members pool resources to fund coaching and mentorship for the relative who is struggling. Not generic motivational coaching, but something structured around that person's actual strengths, interests, and potential.
This means identifying what the family member is naturally good at or drawn to, even if it has never been properly developed. It means connecting them with a coach who can work on mindset, not in a vague self-help way, but in the practical sense of helping someone move from a survival mentality toward seeing real possibility in their own life. And it means doing this online, which keeps costs manageable and means location is no longer a barrier, whether the family member is in a village, a city, or another country entirely.
The budget here covers two things: enough for basic survival needs in the short term, and a separate allocation specifically for personal development and empowerment. The survival piece acknowledges that you cannot build long-term capacity in someone who is currently struggling to eat. The empowerment piece is the actual investment, the part designed to eventually reduce or end the need for ongoing support altogether.
How This Differs from General Coaching Services
This idea sits close to broader online coaching concepts already worth exploring, but the framing here is deliberately narrower, and that narrowness is the point.
The target audience is not the general public. It is specifically family members, kith and kin, the people already inside your existing network of trust and obligation. That changes both the funding model and the marketing approach.
On funding, instead of one person paying out of pocket indefinitely, multiple family members can contribute to a shared pool. This spreads the cost, makes the commitment more sustainable, and turns what might otherwise be one person's quiet financial burden into a collective family investment with shared buy-in. When several people have put money into something, there also tends to be more shared interest in seeing it actually work.
On marketing
If this were built out as a service that coaches or platforms could offer, the audience would be reached through entirely different channels than a typical coaching business. Family associations, community organisations, and the WhatsApp groups that already exist for extended families and friends networks, become the natural distribution point, rather than open social media advertising aimed at strangers. You are not trying to convince the public this is valuable. You are reaching people who already have a family member in mind and just need a structured way to actually act on it.
Why This Could Work Better Than Cash Alone
The logic here is not about cutting people off. It is about redirecting some portion of ongoing support toward something with compounding value instead of something that resets to zero every time.
A cash gift solves today's problem. A coach working with someone over months, focused on their actual strengths and interests, has a chance to shift the underlying pattern. That might look like helping someone identify a skill they can monetise, working through the mindset barriers that have kept them stuck, or simply giving them structured attention and direction that nobody in their life has had the time or expertise to provide.
If this works even partially, the benefits extend beyond the individual. A family member who develops real capacity and confidence asks for less, contributes more, and often becomes someone who can eventually support others in turn. The family unit becomes stronger because the dynamic shifts from one-directional dependency toward something more balanced. And at a broader level, when this kind of investment happens across enough families, society as a whole benefit from fewer people stuck in cycles of dependency and more people operating closer to their actual potential.
Is This Just Throwing Cash at a Different Problem?
It is a fair question, and worth being honest about. This is not a guaranteed fix. Coaching requires genuine engagement from the person receiving it, and not everyone will be ready or willing to do that work, regardless of how well-intentioned the investment is.
What this approach offers, though, is a meaningfully different mechanism than recurring cash gifts. It is targeted at root causes rather than symptoms. It treats the family member as someone with unrealised potential rather than simply someone with a recurring need. And because it is structured, time-bound, and collectively funded, it carries a different kind of accountability than an open-ended cash arrangement does, both for the person receiving the support, and for the family members providing it.
This is still an early-stage idea, more a shift in thinking than a fully built business model. But the underlying insight, that empowerment tends to outperform charity over the long run, is one worth taking seriously, particularly in family structures where the same dynamic has been repeating for years without anyone stepping back to ask if there was a better way.
Where This Could Go Next
For anyone interested in actually building something around this concept, the natural next step is developing a structured offering, perhaps a coaching package specifically designed for this use case, marketed directly to families through the community and association networks where this kind of conversation already happens informally.
For families simply looking to apply the idea without building a business around it, the starting point is much simpler. Have the conversation. Identify what the struggling family member is actually interested in or good at, even if it has never been pursued. Look into affordable online coaching or mentorship options built around that interest. And consider proposing it to other family members as a shared investment rather than continuing to carry the cost, financial and emotional, alone.
Does this dynamic sound familiar in your own family? Have you considered redirecting support toward development rather than ongoing gifts? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.